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Ruth Hunter
Certified Wedding Planner and Managing Director of Finesse Planning in Cardiff. Tel: 029 2065 0702 or visit the website at www.finesseplanning.co.uk |
Ruth Hunter answers all your Wedding Planning related questions |
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I'm loosing control
Q. I feel like my mother is becoming too involved in the wedding plans. Although both sets of parents are helping to pay for the wedding, my mum feels like she's the only one who should have the final say on everything. I'm starting to dread talking about the wedding with her. What can I do?
A. Ruth Hunter says: Your mum is probably taking over unintentionally because she wants you to have the best day of your life - but you do need to gain some control back. Sit down and have a chat with her about the planning. Explain that you appreciate her advice and her help financially, but there are certain areas that you would like to arrange yourself because it is, after all, your wedding. Draw up a list of areas that still need to be organised such as the flowers, cars and dress, and allocate tasks to both sets of parents. That way, everyone will know what their job is. |
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Put on your dancing shoes
Q. We've decided to have a disco for our evening entertainment, but are worried that our guests won't dance until later in the evening. How can we make sure that people enjoy the whole night?
A. Ruth Hunter says: There's nothing worse than an empty dance floor, so it's important for the DJ to play the right kind of music for your guests. The first thing to do is request that each guest provides their favourite song to go on the playlist - you could do this via the RSVP cards. You could also organise a dancing competition between the women and the men - dance-offs to the Grease medley are always a success! Try speaking to the DJ to see what he or she can organise to get people dancing. Don't forget that once guests are up on the floor, they will probably be there all night. |
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A helping hand
Q. My fiance and I have just got engaged, and we are on a fairly tight budget for our wedding. We'd like to be able to pay for our bridesmaids' dresses, but we're not sure we can afford it. Is it acceptable to ask our bridesmaids to pay for their own outfits?
A. Ruth Hunter says: This can be a difficult situation if you haven't outlined it from the beginning. Try to make it clear when you ask your bridesmaids to join your wedding party that they will be required to purchase their own dresses because you are on a tight budget. Discuss how much they can afford to pay, and base it on the lowest figure. If the figure is too low, you could offer to contribute a little towards them, or buy their shoes for example. You could also give them jewellery to wear as a thank you gift.
Image courtesy of Nic Cleave Photography |
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What's the etiquette?
Q. My fiancé and I are having a quiet, casual wedding reception, and we are not sure whether to have favours on the tables. Do guests always expect to receive favours at weddings?
A. Ruth Hunter says: When it comes to favours, it's always nice to give a little thank you gift to your guests, but it isn't always expected. If you're on a tight budget, favours do not have to be expensive, especially if you make them yourself. Why not bake your own cookies, decorate them yourself and double them up as place cards by icing your guests' names on to them? Alternatively, donate the money you were going to spend on favours to charity, and give your guests a charity pin instead. |
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A happy ending
Q. I've always wanted fireworks at my wedding reception but I didn't think to check this with the venue when I booked it. It turns out fireworks are not allowed. Are there any alternatives for a great finale?
A. Ruth Hunter says: This is a common thing to forget when booking a venue, but don't worry, all is not lost.
You could ask the venue if they would allow a silent firework display - check www.nlfireworks.com for more ideas.
Alternatively, if they won't allow fireworks at all, another option is to have sky lanterns. These are large paper lanterns that you light and release. Get the whole wedding party involved by asking them to write messages on them.
For more information, visit www.wishesinthesky.com |
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Adults only
Q. My fiancé and I have decided that we don't want children at our wedding, other than his niece and nephew. However, I don't want my friends who have children to be annoyed when they see them there. How can I let everyone know without upsetting them?
A. Ruth Hunter says: The first thing to remember is that this is your wedding and if you don't want to have children there, you don't have to have them. Unfortunately it's not enough to address the invitation only to the parents as this can often cause confusion. The best way is to mention it from the start. The easiest way I have found is to add a note on to the invite saying something like: "Due to the restriction on numbers at the venue, we are only able to invite children from our close family. We hope you will be able to make the necessary arrangements and help us celebrate this special day." |
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Winter worries
Q. I'm having a winter wedding in February and everything is organised. But there is one thing I'm don't know how to prepare for the weather. Do you have any tips on how to deal with rain or snow?
A. Ruth Hunter says: Most winter brides dream about a white wedding but in reality it can cause all sorts of problems. The chance of snow is rare but rain, wind and general cold weather is likely.
There are a few ways of handling the elements though so don't panic. Ensure that you have matting available for paths if you have to walk on soft ground or fill in large puddles with woodchips.
If you think it will be icy ask the church and venue if they will grit the pathways for you. You can also give your ushers some old towels at the church or ceremony to dry the floors before you arrive so your dress doesn't soak up muddy water.
It is also a good idea to look into providing gas patio heaters outside for smokers.
Finally check with your venue that there is a cloakroom available for guests to leave their winter coats. |
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Playing host
Q. Both mine and my fiancé's parents are divorced and don't get on very well. It's really beginning to cause us stress as we're not sure how we're going to arrange the top table without causing hostility. Do you have any suggestions?
A. Ruth Hunter says: The best solution that I've used for this problem is to do away with a traditional top table in exchange for hosted tables.
You can ask each parent if they would host a table each at the wedding.
You can then seat people on their table that you know they get on well with.
Make sure that their tables are on opposite sides of the room to reduce opportunities for them to come into contact.
You can also ask other guests to host additional tables and have your closest friends or wedding party members on your table - which leaves you free to relax and enjoy the reception. |
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Colour Clash
Q. My fiancé and I can’t agree on a colour theme for our wedding and it’s causing a lot of stress between us. Can you think of a solution?
A. Ruth Hunter says: When beginning the design aspect of wedding planning one of the very first things to do is to look at the colours of your reception room. See what colour the carpets, curtains and chairs are. You absolutely have to work with the room or you could end up with clashing colours. The next step is to look at yours and your bridal party’s colourings. Choose colours that will complement everyone without washing them out. These two things should reduce your colour theme options considerably and help you to both come to an informed and joint decision. |
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